Antithesis on April Fools
Original Works
Written by kvmw
Edited by MakkChi
With a tap of my wand, Sinderion—or Sid, his preferred name—shuddered before melting into his surroundings, blending in with the old stone walls and soft orange light emitted by the fireplaces of the Hogwarts kitchens. “Remember,” I whispered, “Bewilderment Potion for the Ravens, Dreariness Drink for the Badgers, and Blabbering Brew for the Serpents.”
I couldn’t tell if he understood due to him being, well, invisible.
The house-elves noticed me as soon as I stepped into view. I suppose I stood out like a sore thumb, as I was at least three feet taller than the tallest of them. They immediately began to beam and bow, dropping everything they were doing to greet me. It almost made me feel bad.
Almost.
“How can we help you, Miss?”
I pretended to hesitate before slowly saying, “I’ve been really homesick lately, and I’ve been craving some Khanom Chan—a Thai dessert. I can’t get it in hogsend, but I was wondering if the Hogsworth kitchens had any...” I trailed off, shaking my head.
The house-elves began to murmur among themselves, clearly having never heard of the dish.
“Could you explain the dessert?” one of the house-elves in the back spoke up.
“I dunno, it’s complicated.” I pondered. “I’m sorry. It was a dumb thought, anyway.”
“Is there anything else we could offer you?” another house-elf asked. “Cream cake? Pie? Tart?”
“No, thank you,” I replied, giving a pained smile.
Somewhere in the back, a basket of bread tipped over, and its contents spilled onto the floor. House-elves appeared out of nowhere next to it, picking up the contents as the others apologized for the mess. I assured them it was alright.
After all, it was my signal to leave.
I appeared on the other side of the painting. Sinderion was on the other side, empty bottles tucked into various pockets patched onto his robes.
“Success?” I asked as we headed up the stairs.
“Of course,” Sid assured me. “What I don’t get is why you didn’t take what the tarts. I missed breakfast this morning, preparing all these potions.” He gestured towards his pockets. “I’m starving. When’s lunch again?”
“Soon,” I said, smiling to myself. “Very, very soon.”
. . .
The Great Hall was bustling with activity by the time we arrived. “Which dishes?” I murmured under my breath as we sat down at the Griffin table, settling next to a pair of first years.
Sid grinned. “The fish. I thought it’d be appropriate for April Fools Day.” I nodded my approval. “Also, the eclairs. No one ever skips those.”
“Good,” I said. “Just act normal. We don’t want to alert the teachers too early.”
With that, Sid lept for the beef casserole, terrifying a group of third years, and began to wolf it down with gusto. Meanwhile, I helped myself to shepherd’s pie, watching the two first years out of the corner of my eye. They kept whispering and pointing at me with eager gazes, and once, I considered putting on a pair of fake vampire teeth just to scare them.
I had just taken a bite out of a jam doughnut when a seventh year sitting at the table next to us fell, face-first, into his half-finished plate of roast chicken. The Badgers around him had just begun to react when a first-year suddenly leapt up, wildly proclaiming, “A duel between you and I! Fight me, you—” An older Serpent rushed over and pulled her down, face beet red as she dragged the younger girl out of the Great Hall.
Everything began to go wrong all at once. A cacophony of meaningless words started to erupt from the Serpents’ table. Honeybadgers were beginning to pass out in droves, while the Ravens’ table was a wild mess—students were shouting at each other, and wands were being drawn.
The Potions professor was sent to retrieve antidotes as the other teachers dealt with the chaos. The Griffins had begun murmuring to each other, wondering what would happen to them.
“Don’t worry,” I called. “Look, if you want to dodge the interrogation—which I suspect will be coming soon, if Professor Quintin’s glare means anything—I would suggest leaving!” I widened my eyes, glaring at the two first years, who leapt up and scurried away.
Indeed, our Head of House was marching over and came to a stop in front of our table. “Is there any particular reason why you lot have maintained your sanity?” she asked icily.
Sid flashed me a look, but I ignored him. “None at all, Professor,” I said, beaming.
“Miss Saelim, I do not have time for this. Explain.”
I straightened, spreading my arms to gesture towards the mess. “It is April Fools! A little prank by someone. Not that big of a deal, honestly, Professor.”
“Not that big of a deal?” She gritted her teeth, the words edging out from clenched teeth. “And pray, Miss Saelim, do you know who this “someone” is?”
“Well,” I replied, leaning my back against the table. “I have no idea.”
“I am inclined to think, however painful it is, that a Griffin did this since all who remained seem to be normal. Unless, of course, your potion caused invisibility, in which case I would hope not to find them hiding elsewhere.”
“Of course not, Professor.”
Professor Quintin’s face tightened. “Detention for all of you, unless you inform me who was behind this. Is that understood?”
A few students glanced towards Sid and me—they guessed it was us. I winked. They could throw me under the bus. I didn’t care.
“Seraphina Saelim and Sinderion Moon, Professor Quintin,” one of the sixth years said, breaking the silence. “Seraphina’s...chaotic and Sinderion's good with potions.”
“Thanks, Ashton!” Siderion piped up. Professor Quintin turned her cold glare on Sid and me.
I scoffed. “Personally, I’m offended. I certainly could have pulled this off by myself.” Sinderion's eyes widened, but I shot him a warning look—I could handle this. “I do not need Sid’s help all the time, especially for something as trivial as this.”
“Trivial?”
“Perhaps that is not the word for it, Professor.” Giving her a sunny smile, I stood. “So, what’s for detention?” I asked airly. “A trip to the Dark Forest? Polishing the trophies?”
“Fifty house points, a letter to your parents, and lines.”
I bowed. “Strict as always, Professor, but I accept your terms.”
“To my office, Miss Saelim,” she sighed. “The rest of you, return to your dorms.”
Whistling, I waved a cheerful goodbye to Sid. He rolled his eyes but smiled, returning the gesture as I began to walk to what I was sure would be a fascinating lecture.
”