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so I clicked prompt and it works without the resource pack but then when it gives me the prompt the prompt instantly closes before I can choose and I can join without the pack
If you have set the resource pack option to either "Prompt" or "Enabled", you should be able to use the resource pack on the server. I recommend that you let the game load without touching your keyboard or mouse. If the prompt still closes, you should still be able to access all the resource packs by typing /packs in the chat.
so I clicked prompt and it works without the resource pack but then when it gives me the prompt the prompt instantly closes before I can choose and I can join without the pack